BAD GIRL GONE GOOD
- What's up?
I'm always acting like the tough girl, top girl, bad girl, girl-with-the-most-cake, mean girl, no-fucks given-on-any-occasion kind-of-girl; trying to simultaneously outdo myself in every act of rebellion one after the other. A performance I'm always guilty of putting on - one to reassure myself that I was unique and different because I didn't let society step all over me. I won't lie, I love it. I love falsely associating myself with the wicked and pretending I knew the world inside and out because I did things for the thrill rather than the good. I was an outlaw in disguise; the culprit who helps rob the bank, rather than doing the actual stealing. But the truth is, I'm far from who I make up to be.
I was a good girl with bad habits.
I still look forward to seeing my parents every holiday. I give up my seat in a crowded bus for older companies. The Notebook still makes me cry every time and I always laugh a little louder than I should. I always finish my homework on time, attend class, stress about cleaning my room, and care about how people perceived me. I almost never say no to favours and saying "please" and "thank you" when necessary. I apologize even without a fair trial or when I'm not at fault. I found comfort in staying in than going out all the time and happiness in just doing boring things over and over again. I stick pins into people who I thought never lived up to my expectations and get sad when things could've worked out to my benefit. My exterior was rock-hard, but my intentions were genuine. People like you and me always take innocence as a form of weakness. So I played a different card - a more darker card filled with sarcasm, lies, back-talks, anger and dissatisfaction. I'm the tough girl, top girl, bad girl, girl-with-the-most-cake, mean girl, no-fucks given-on-any-occasion kind-of-girl. I wanted to let people know that they could not phase me, could not chase me, or stage me; but that they could only break me.
Photography by Adriana Taylor.
I was a good girl with bad habits.
I still look forward to seeing my parents every holiday. I give up my seat in a crowded bus for older companies. The Notebook still makes me cry every time and I always laugh a little louder than I should. I always finish my homework on time, attend class, stress about cleaning my room, and care about how people perceived me. I almost never say no to favours and saying "please" and "thank you" when necessary. I apologize even without a fair trial or when I'm not at fault. I found comfort in staying in than going out all the time and happiness in just doing boring things over and over again. I stick pins into people who I thought never lived up to my expectations and get sad when things could've worked out to my benefit. My exterior was rock-hard, but my intentions were genuine. People like you and me always take innocence as a form of weakness. So I played a different card - a more darker card filled with sarcasm, lies, back-talks, anger and dissatisfaction. I'm the tough girl, top girl, bad girl, girl-with-the-most-cake, mean girl, no-fucks given-on-any-occasion kind-of-girl. I wanted to let people know that they could not phase me, could not chase me, or stage me; but that they could only break me.
yours until the swing of things,
marissa
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